Sunday, October 17, 2010

Week 4 - Day 7 - I'm cross

I'm completely shattered. While I was away having such a lovely weekend with my partner, my son rings to see if I had organised anything for his 18th birthday. I hadn't which is very unlike me but I still had time when I got home. It turns out his father wanted to organise a dinner for him so I let him do that. I'm the one who normally does all the organising. I was a bit peeved with myself for being so absorbed in my own world of wedding and 12wbt that I hadn't really thought about my son.
Now the really crappy part. His dad organised the dinner and me and my partner have not been invited. Nor has any of my family. This has really made me angry because whenever I organise anything for my children I alwyas include my ex and his family. Not once have not included them. He is my son. He lives with me. He calls me Mumma. I so need to be there to celebrate his 18th birthday. I know he will wake up at home and I will give him his awesome present but I need and want to be there tonight to share the whole thing with him. I'm probably being a real bitch here but I don't comprehend why I'm not included. I haven't told my parents yet either as they would normally be invited too. It's my fault for being so self absorbed.
The other thing making me so cross is that I haven't doen my mini milestone. I had grand plans of doing the big 15km beach walk. My partner was not thrilled with this plan as the seas around here have been huge and the walk is very isolated. He really didn't want me doing it on my own. I gave in. For the first time since I've started this journey I just gave in. I didn't even try and justify even to myself.

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