Wednesday, December 15, 2010

So so happy - It's all Mish's fault

I am still going to weigh in every Wednesday and I did this week and lost .2. Might not sound like much but with all the Xmas parties and going to Sydney it has been very hard to stay within the calories so to actual lose is awesome.
I've just joined up at my local Crossfit gym and plan to do 2 sessions a week there. So my fitness plan is:
Mon: Running or spin in am
Tues: Crossfit in am
Wed: Running in am Tennis pm
Thur: Crossfit in am Boxing pm
Fri: spin or pumpin am
Sat: Spin and pump - Super Saturday will remain.
I really want to try and fit in 3 running sessions a week but I'm not quite sure where to fit it in. I could possible do it in the evening one night but I aslo have to take into consideration my family and actually being home with them sometimes. Most of my am workouts are beofre my family are out of bed so they don't affect them at all. I play tennis with my daughters so that isn't an issue either. I doing boxing with my husband and 1 of my daughters so once again, no issue. My family are very supportive of my and my exercise program but I sometimes get the guilts if I'm not home enough.
That's me done for now. Hope everyone continues on their own personal journeys and keep up the great work!

Monday, December 13, 2010

A new start - All on my own

Well it is all over. The 12wbt has been an amazing journey of self discovery and learning to actually like the person I am. I've been successful in losing 12.6kg and numerous CM's too. I'm very proud of my efforts and my new fitness levels. It is now time for me to be accountable agin and to take the next step of continuing on my own. I've learnt so much from Mish and will be forever indebted to her. She has turned my life around and has actually given me life. I will love her forever. What an amazing and inspirational person she is. So I now have 4.6Kg to lose on my own and then the hard part of maintaining the loss. I know I can do it and I'm so detemined to never go back to old habits jsut because they are easier. I'm now a strong and detmined person who can achieve anything that I want to.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Week 12 - Day 5 - Nearly the end

I can't believe this is all nearly over. Well I mean the actual program not my new lifestyle. I have learnt so much and enjoyed every minute of it. I now hang out to go to the gym and I'm doing things I never thought possible. I now even train twice a day some days. A lot of people think I'm mad but I really don't care. I'm healthy and fit and happy so that is all that matters to me. I still want to lose another 4-5kg but that will happen with more hard work. I have been getting comments from all varying sources saying "You don't need to lose anymore weight." Most of these people are overweight and unhealthy. I think I embarrass them by losing weight when they aren't.
I've been to spin this morning and I've got boxing tonight before having an early night. I have a 6am flight to Sydney so I need to leave home about 2am Saturday. I'm going to be 1 extremely tired girl by the end of the weekend but it is all worth it. I'm going to get smashed by Michelle Bridges and I can't wait. I think I'm more excited about the training session than the party. I can't wait to see her in the flesh. OMG I think I'll be star struck and might just cry when I see her.
Look out Sydney, here I come!!!!!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Week 11 - Day 3 - All good plans

I had to take my son to Melbourne yesterday for an interview at Monash Uni for physio next year. Being an accelerator day, I thought I'd go prepared. I packed the lovely turkey salad and off we went. My great plan went out the window literally when we were about 3/4 of our way to Monash. My son gets really travel sick but had taken his meds but with the nervousness of the interview he felt extremely ill. The only container we had in the car was the container with my salad. So out it went just in case he needed the container to spew. All quite funny in the long run. Anyway, on the way home we stopped at one of the road side service stations and they actually sold a bowl of salad for $3.50 which was really yummy.
Today after a few weeks of being very stagnant on the scales, I dropped 1.6kg. I'm so happy as this makes my total loss 12kg but better still, I'm under 70kg. Woo Hoo

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Week 11 - Day 1 - Only 2 weeks to go

Only 2 weeks to go. That is so sad. I want to be a part of this program for ever but know that that is not an option. I'm not doing the next round. I feel that somewhere I have to stand on my own two feet and be accountable to me. Now is the time. I've learnt so much from Mish and will be forever thankful to her for giving me my life back and showing me how to do this. I love this new lifestyle and new me

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Week 10 - Day 5 - CNew Committments

OMG I've just committed to adding 3 Crossfit sessions a week to training schedule. It commences next Friday night
I've just registered for my first ever fun run. It's not until January and it's only 6k but I've never ever done anything like this before.
I'm scared. I'm excited.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Week 10 - Day 4 - My Mojo has returned

I'm back. I went to PT last night and poured my heart out to my PT. I then went home and cried for about an hour about nothing at all. I'm so not like this normally but it seems to have helped.
I bounced out of bed this morning and went for a run in the rain and included a couple of hills which I normally don't do. I've felt awesome all day and really feel back on top of things. I've got boxing tonight and so can't wait. God it's good to have my mojo back.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Week 10 - Day 3 - I'm stuck

My weight has stayed the same for the past 2 weeks and I just seem to be stuck. It's really frustrating and disappouinting. Even just a amallish loss would have been good. Oh well, shit happens and we move on. Hopefully next week will see the scales move downwards.
I actually really feel like I'm struggling with everything. It all seems too hard. Not just tje exercising and healthy eating but just everything. I'm grumpy at home, I'm sitting at work wishing I was elsewhere. I just CBF. This is not like me so I don't deal with it very well. I just feel drained.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Week 10 - Day 2 - I'm stuggling

When I set my goals I didn't even take my wedding into consideration. My weight loss goals had nothing to do with my wedding. Well that was what I thought and told myself but perhaps I've been kiding myself.
Since getting married I'v really struggled with the eating and exercise. All that good work of setting up a routine and forming new habits just went out the window. It makes me think that deep down I really was trying to lose weight for the wedding. I don't know. All I do know is that I I've been eating all the left overs and wedding cake and drinking all the left over alcohol. Not being at work has added to the problem as I'm totally out of wack with my usual routine. I've got to pull this all back and gain the control. The only good part is that I've managed to somehow stay the same weight. I really want to lose more weight so staying the same just isn't an option for me.
I came back to work last Thursday and have so far this week been on track both with eating and exercise. I've just reset all my goals and I think this will also help. I got to my 3 month goals at week 9 and hadn't done anything about re evaluating. Now I have some clear goals again.
Hopefully this week will see a small loss on the scales and that will be enough to get me motivated to continue

Friday, November 12, 2010

Week 8 - day 6 - I'm getting married

The day is finally here. I'm getting married. I started the day with a spin class before heading to the hairdressers followed by makeup. I'm all set just sitting her waiting. It is wet & cold here today so our garden wedding has been transferred inside. No big drama as the whole thing is at home. Just hate this waiting waiting waiting. Rock on 5 o'clock when our guests are due to arrive

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Week 8 - Day 4 - Just another day

I've been for my 5k run/walk. I ran the entire way yesterday but find I can't back it up the next day. I'll keep trying. I would love to run 5k 3 times a week so I'll just keep perservering.
I have a boxing session tonight which I always look forward to. It is always really hard work but the endorphines kick in and I'm on a high for a couple of hours.
2 more sleeps until I get married. It is meant to rain and be thunder storms. I don't really care as we are just having a small wedding at home and instead of being outdoors, we will be inside.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Week 8 - Day 3 - A small loss

I weighed in 400g lighter this morning. This is so good as I was really just hoping to stay the same. I was so afraid of putting on. I also managed a 5km run this morning before work so I'm really pleased with myself today.
I went and bought lovely pink lingerie at lunch time for my wedding. I'm not ashamed to look at myself in the mirror anymore. That is such a change in mindset. I actually think I looked pretty damn hot in the pink lingerie. Can't wait to see my new hubby's face when he sees me comfortable and confident in sexy underwear!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Week 8 - Day 2 - I cheated a bit

I decided to do an accelerater day today instead of waiting for next week. I've had no carbs today and I'm starving. I am so panicy about weigh in tomorrow that I thought this might help. Time will tell.
We did and awesome group PT last night. My personal total was as follows. 75 Wall balls with 8kg ball, 105 Burpees (I hate them so much), 126 Chin ups (with assistance), 144 push ups and 240 squats. My poor legs today feel a tad sore.
I'm off to try out a new gym tonight. It is straight crossfit and our work group are looking to do a session a week. We'll see what they have to offer us.
I just got the menu for my wedding. It is all finger foods and looks simply divine. 4 more sleeps

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Week 8 - Day 1 - Lost track of time

So much has happened and I've not had time to even think about this blog. I can't believe I've missed so many days.
I went to Oaks Day and had an awesome day. The downside is that I drank heaps of champagne and had no control over my food as it was all catered for. It was finger foods all day so I really tried very hard to select the best options but I know I absolutely blew my calories. I still went to boxing that night and managed to burn off about 450 calories. I usually do over 600 calories in a boxing session.
On the Friday I had to travel to Geelong (2hrs) for a 1 hour meeting that was really a waste of time. Our sister Company was shouting lunch which I was looking forward to until they told me we were having pizzas. Once again I had no control over my food choices. This makes it really hard to stay within my calories for the day. I had 3 slices of pizza and know once again I had blown my calories.
My other crappy part is that I have an injury. I won't go into it other than to say it's a real pain in my arse. This has halted my exercise completely. I had no training Friday, missed super Saturday and did nothing Sunday. I tried a bit of a run this morning but wasn't very successful. It was more walking than running. I have a group PT session tonight and I'll do as much as I can.
I also believe that drinking alcohol really stuffs up your metabolism. I have been on such a roll and now everything seems to have come to a screaming halt. I'm actually really shitting myself about this weeks weigh in. I can cope with staying the same but if I put on I will be devastated. I've been trying so hard and I don't want any of these hiccps. I've tried really hard to just have my 3 meals and no snacks to try and counter the couple of bad days I've had. Time will tell.
Only 5 days until I get married! woo hoo

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Week 7 - Day 3 - Good results

I'm down 2 kg this week and I'm so excited. I can't wipe the smile off my face. I was hoping for a 1kg loss as I had my Old Boilers night on Saturday night where I drank quite a bit of alcohol. So to loss 2kg was awesome.
I had coffee with my best friend yesterday who just cried because she is "Fat." The really sad part is that no matter what I suggested to help her, she found an excuse to throw up to it. It's really frustrating trying to help others who haven't got their head in the right space and expect that because I'm losing weight that they should automatically lose weight too. I'm going to lend her Mish's book to hopefully explain to her about excuses and getting her head right. I'm also not going to let others make me feel bad for losing weight when they aren't. We all have decisions to make in life and I've made this decision to lose weight and to do Mish's program. I can't be responsible for others weight. I will offer any help I can a support any decisions others make in their efforts to lose weight but ultimately it is up to each indivdual person to do it for themselves and not just wish it would happen.
I'm down off my soap box now!
I'm off to Oaks Day tomorrow and I'm really pleased with myself because my dress is a skinny dress. Well that's how I feel anyway.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Week 7 - Day 2 - Not used to being unwell

I have an upset tummy and I never get sick so this is new for me and I don't like it much. I just feel nauseated and everytime I eat I get cramps.
I still ran on the tready this morning and then did pump. I came to work because I thought if I stayed busy I'd forget about feeling sick. It has sort of worked but not completely.
Looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. I want another kilo gone so I'll have to wait and see. My fingers are crossed!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Week 7 - Day 1 - Not a good run

I got up and did my running program this morning but it wasn't the best. I'm meant to have a group crossfit session tonight but the gym has just run to say they are putting up their prices as of now and most of us can't afford what they are asking. So tonight if there are more than 7 of us then I have volunteered to go home.
My eating has been awesome and I'm actually really looking forward to weigh in on Wednesday.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Week 6 - Day 7 - I survived

I survived the Old Boilers Night and had so much fun. I had to wear slippers with penis on them all night which got many comments from others at the pub. The things we do!
I tried to eat sensibly while out and chose a Thai beef salad. I had a bout 4 glasses of white wine before I started on the spirits. I did have diet coke with the spirits but I know I blew my calories for the day. I've tried to be extremeley good today and will know by Wednesday what damage I did last night. I'm not panicking!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Week 6 - Day 6 - Old Boilers Night

I'm having my Old Boilers night tonight and I'm just a bit excited. I've got around 40 women meeting me at the pub for dinner and drinks. It could end up very messy! I don't drink much these days so I'll have to pace myself. I'm also panicking about the calorie intake. I've decided to drink white wine and top it up with soda water. This will hopefully make me drink slower and not as much.
I did super Saturday this morning with a spin class follwed by a pump class. I was drenched at the end of it but I only burned off 750 calories. What's with that? I'm finding that the further I go with this program, the harder it seems to be I have to work to burn off calories. Kinda makes sense but shit it's hard work.
Tomorrow is a rest day and probably a recovery day.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Week 6 - Day 5 - 15 days to go

Only 15 days to go until I get married. Woohoo!
Did a really lethargic run on the tready and the same at pump this morning. Just don't seem to have too much energy today. Might have something to do with not being able to sleep in the middle of the night so I got up and did a couple of hours of ironing before going back to bed. May as well be productive if I'm not sleeping. Crazy really but I hate laying in bed and not sleeping. I'm actually really tired now and can't really be bothered even working.
An easy night tonight as it is "Get you own tea" in our house tonight. I'm pulling out one of the meals I've had prepared and frozen in the freezer.
For super Saturday I'm doing spin followed by pump and then a small run. I always aim for at least 1000 caloires.
The past couple of days I've basically burned off the same amount of calories that I've eaten. Maybe that also has something to do with my tiredness!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Week 5 - Day 4 - I did it!

I ran for 20 minutes without stopping and covered 3.5km. I'm warpt. I've been doing my happy dance all day today. I never truely believed I could do it but I was determined that I would. It actually wasn't too bad either which now makes me think I can go further. I want to do 5km now. I'm so pumped.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Week 6 - Day 3 - Nice lose

I lost 1.4 this week which now brings my grand total to 8kg and 9.8% of me gone. I'm so stoked. It is so exciting to see the numbers coming down. I'm half way there now so it is full steam ahead.
I di my running program this morning which had me running for 8 minutes at a time. I made it and never thought I could run that long. I took a sneak peak at tomorrows program and freaked. I have to run for 20mins straight up. The negative voices went off in my head straight away. I'm trying really hard not to listen to them. I will give it a go and let you all know.
Tonight I have PT followed by tennis with my youngest daughter. I love palying tennis with her. We have so much fun and laugh heaps. I think we are the craziest tennis players to take to the courts. We have all these High 5 moves which crack us up. Don't know if any of the other players are too impressed.
My son starts his fianl Yr12 exams tomorrow.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Week 6 - Day 2 - A bit lethargic

I did the most amazing crossfit group session last night. It involved running, bear crawls, walking lunges, push ups, squats, kettle bell swings, toe touches, knees to elbows, one arm clean and press, burpees and then more running. This may sound simple but the number of reps were incredible. 400m runs with 25kg weights, 50 & 75 push ups, 100 squats, 50 toe touches, 50 burpees etc etc etc. I ate it all up. I loved it and didn't want it to finish. I was first finished so I was rewarded with another 400m run carrying an empty beer barrel. It was awesome.
Today I ran on the tready and then did pump but I was rally lethargic. I think last night might have taken a bit out of me. I actually really had to push myself to get out of bed and go to the gym. This has been the hardest day to get up and going but I just kept thinking, JFDI. What a powerful mantra.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Week 6 - Day 1 - Ran further than I needed

I was doing my running program this morning and was onto my 2nd lot of 5 minute running. I ran past a friend and yelled hi and at the same time I had a song change on the ipod. In amongst all this, I must have missed the cue to walk again so I kept on running. After a bit, I realised that 5 mins seemed to be taking forever so I checked the program and realised I had run for 6.5 mins. This is the longest I have run for like a million years. I was so happy.
My son got his P's today so all is good in my house.
Group Cross fit session tonight. Attempting the fish recipe tonight. I'm so not a fish eater or cooker. I'm a bit worried I'll hate it and then have to rely on my freezer for back up. At least I have a backup plan.

Week 5 - Day 7 - Rest day

I need it. A rest day and it was lovely. I had a chance to sit out in the sun and just relax. I've had a great week for exercise and eating and am really looking forward to my next weigh and measure.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Week 5 - Day 6 - Fighting with my body

My joints all seem to be aching. My knees, elbows and shoulders. I'm not giving into it.
I went to spin and then follwed up with pump. Only 825 calories burnt so when I got home I decided to run around the racecourse. This was a disaster. Everytime I started to run my stupid problem of needing to go to the toilet happened. I was actually talking to my self out loud and cursing my body. I ended up walking and trying to run and then walking again. At least I burnt off another 200 calories so I managed a 1000 calorie Super Saturday. I'm over my body giving up on me. I just want to be able to run. I'm not giving up but it is so frustrating. I've had a really good week of eating. I got a surprise email from Mish which has really made my day. She said she has been tracking my stats and sees that I've been averaging 1 kilo + loss each week and that it puts me in the top 10%. I'm so wrapt. I'm not doing this to compete with anyone else but it is nice to get recognition for my efforts by someone I totally admire.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Week 5 - Day 5 - moody family

Everything in my house is crap. My partner is being really moody, my 16 year old daughter is looking at me as if she wished I was dead and my 14 year old isn't much better. What is it with them all??? or is it me????
My partner suffers from depression and does have periods of moodiness. I actually went and counted his meds this morning because I thought that perhaps he wasn't taking them. He is! When he is like this he becomes manic about having a clean and tidy house. Our house is kept spotless at the best of times but he is manic. It is very hard to live with this and he is extremely hard on my children when he's like this. He also has a great knack of making me feel guilty about doing things without him or going out without him. I have always tried to do all my activities that are away from home (like the gym), before anyone gets up in the house. I've tried to learn that he shouldn't make me fell guilty and I have to keep things in perspective in my head. I've only been out 1 night this week and that was for a Relay for life meeting followed by tennis with my youngest. 1 night only but I know he has it in his head that I'm never home.
He also has a knack of making me feel guilty about time I spend with my children. He just doesn't get the parent thing totally. He has an adopted daughter and they don't have the greatest relationship. I don't think he has ever really been a "real" father to her. And I don't think he gets the bond that a mother and her children have. He had such a bad childhood and I think he missed out on a lot of relationship stuff and doesn't know what it is all about, especially with parents and children. He is only like this when his depression is acute but it is very hard to deal with. It makes me feel like I'm in an impossible position and that I can't be stretched among everyone far enough.
So I went to the gym this morning and ran on the tready for 20 mins and then did a pump class. this was all before anyone was awake in my house. I was going to a boxing class tonight but I've cancelled because I don't want to be made to feel guilty and I don't want to have to put up with his shitty mood if I go.
Time to take control and sit him down for a talk about how he makes me feel when he is like this and the effect it has on the entire household.
Next in line will be the 16 year old. She needs to learn about respect and treating people nicely. Obviously something crappy is going on in her life so she takes it out on me. She is such a deep child and hard to get to the bottom of things with her but I can't take this attitude and rudeness anymore.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Week 5 - Day 4 - Breast cancer week

How ironic that every year they have breast cancer awareness week in October and this is the week that my mother died from cancer. It coincides every year. She initially started with breast cancer and then had an ongoing 4 year battle until she died from lung cancer. She was only 46 years of age and I had just turned 14 years old. This was 31 years ago. I kind of think that if she had of been alive today with all the improvements in treatments that perhaps she would have survived.
She was an amazing woman. 4 days before she died I turned 14 and she organised a birthday party for me with 10 friends. She did everything for her family. She was also very community orientated and involved in Girl Guides, meals on wheels, local theatre group etc.
So what have I learned about her and me and cancer and why she died? I believe that things happen in life for a reason and sometimes that is hard to find the reason. I do know that because she lived the life she did and instilled such great values into her children that I am a better person for being her daughter. I am a strong person and live for my children. I believe that if she fought so hard to stay here that I can honour that by being the best person I can be and to pass this on to my children.
Afte she died, I lived at home with my Dad. My 2 older sisters had left home already. I became my dad's escort to many functions. He is also very community minded and involved in groups and committees. I probably went to many community events and dinners that not many teenage girls would attend. This has opened many doors for me in later life as it taught me how to act appropriately and I met some very influentual people. I grew up very quickly.
I have also learned not to take life for granted. It is a gift to us all and we need to use it the max. So I have my 2 yearly mammogram done, pap smear and all the rest. I'm the chairperson for our local Realy for Life which is such a great event and cause.
So this is probably one of the main reasons I'm doing 12wbt. I want to be healthy and fit and a role model for my 3 kids. This may seem morbid.......... I do believe one day I will get cancer in some way shape or form. So I need to be the fitest and healthiest I can possibly be to fight this terrible disease.
I love my Mum to the moon and back and think of her every single day.
So if you are reading this blog, please do me the biggest favour................. Please think about all the wonderful things your mum has done for you and probably is still doing for you and then give her the biggest hug and tell her you love her to the moon and back.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Week 5 - Day 3 - Surprises

I started the day with a pleasant surprise on a 1kg loss. I was stoked as I had been away in Melbourne, had 3 birthdays in our house, eaten out heaps and I still managed to lose. Yahoo.
I decided today that I relly like running. I'm still crap at it but I'm perservering and increasing the times I run and shortening the times I walk. I actually had a smile on my face this morning while I was running.
The best news for today is that my son has got an interview for Physiotherapy at Monash for next year. This is the course he has his heart set on. It doesn't mean he has got into it but it is a first step into getting into it. The interview is 30th Nov after all his exams. I'm so excited for him and so proud of him.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Week 5 - Day 2 - Another birthday

Today is my baby's 14th birthday. I got up early and headed to the gym for a run on the tready and a pump class. On the way home I went via Maccas to pick up breaky for the children as a birthday treat. I didn't have a bite of anything and actually really didn't feel like I missed out on anything.
Still haven't got my emails sorted which is a pain in the bum.
Looking forward to weigh in tomorrow even though I've done a bit less training this week and had last weekend away with quite a bit of alcohol. I'll be happy with any small loss.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Week 5 - Day 1 - Another bad day

My exercise is good. My nutrition is good but my mood is terrible. I don't know what is wrong with me.
After a bad day yesterday in regards to my son's 18th Birthday dinner, I decided action was required. I text my ex and told him exactly what I thought about not including me and my family in my son's 18th. He reponded with "I just didn't think about it." What an idiot. To cut a long story short, myslef and 7 of my famly are now going out for dinner iwth my son for his 18th. Yahoo!
Sometime over the weekend Dodo who is my internet provider did an upgrade of their email system. This should be fabulous but the only thing is, I've lost all my contacts and a folder I called "Must Keep Stuff." This is the folder I store all our passwords, my sons Yr12 VTAC info, concert tickets, air tickets etc etc etc. Well get this, it has vanished as well. I rang Dodo today only to be told that they cannot retrieve any of this information and that they will not talk to me any further about this email account as I'm not the account holder. The account is in my ex husbands name beacuse Dodo will not change it to mine even after numerous attempts. My flight details to Sydney was stored in this folder. Tickets to the Australian Open which are xmas presents for my children are stored in this folder. I just wanted to cry.
I have felt moody all day and so out of control. This is not me and I'm usually very under control even with my moods. I'm not sure why this is all happening and the moment but I sure as hell don't like it. I just want to go to bed and cry and hide away fromm the world.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day and it's my youngest's 14th birthday so I'll put on a happy face.

Week 4 - Day 7 - I'm cross

I'm completely shattered. While I was away having such a lovely weekend with my partner, my son rings to see if I had organised anything for his 18th birthday. I hadn't which is very unlike me but I still had time when I got home. It turns out his father wanted to organise a dinner for him so I let him do that. I'm the one who normally does all the organising. I was a bit peeved with myself for being so absorbed in my own world of wedding and 12wbt that I hadn't really thought about my son.
Now the really crappy part. His dad organised the dinner and me and my partner have not been invited. Nor has any of my family. This has really made me angry because whenever I organise anything for my children I alwyas include my ex and his family. Not once have not included them. He is my son. He lives with me. He calls me Mumma. I so need to be there to celebrate his 18th birthday. I know he will wake up at home and I will give him his awesome present but I need and want to be there tonight to share the whole thing with him. I'm probably being a real bitch here but I don't comprehend why I'm not included. I haven't told my parents yet either as they would normally be invited too. It's my fault for being so self absorbed.
The other thing making me so cross is that I haven't doen my mini milestone. I had grand plans of doing the big 15km beach walk. My partner was not thrilled with this plan as the seas around here have been huge and the walk is very isolated. He really didn't want me doing it on my own. I gave in. For the first time since I've started this journey I just gave in. I didn't even try and justify even to myself.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Week 4 - Day 6 - no training

WOW is all I can say about my night away with my husband to be. We stayed at the Crown Metropol, had dinner on the Tramcar Restaurant and breakfast at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant. I tried to eat as sensibily as I could but I drank way too much. It was such a fun night that I didn't want to spoil it by thinking about calories and I figure if I only do it every now and again it won't be too bad. I weighed myself before I went to Melbourne and I'll weigh myself in the morning and then assess the damage. The tramcar was 5 courses. I had pate and capsicum dip, Kangaroo fillets, Macadamian crusted chicken, cheese platter and Chocolate dome mousse with lots of champagne, red wine and tia maria.
I travelled home from Melbourne today so I couldn't do my mini milestone but I plan on doing it tomorrow. I was going to do a 15 km walk along the beach front but the weather is so bad here and the sea is very rough and high so that is out of the question. My partner has offered to drive me out the road for 15km and make me walk home. I think that's a great plan.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Week 4 - Day 5 melbourne

I'm in Melbourne and staying at Crown Metropol which is really flash. We got drenched walking onto Bourke street but the good news is ............. I got a dress. I've compromised because I have realized I'm just too fussy and critical of my body. The dress I tried on last week & I picked it out again today so it must be the one. Off on the tramcar restaurant tonight. I've eaten very little all day as it is 5 courses plus unlimited alcohol. I'm absolutely starving and can't wait for tonight

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Week 4 - Day 4 - It's my birthday and I'll run if I want to

What a way to start the day..........  a 30 minute run/walk................. such a beautiful morning.
I'm 45 years old today and loving life. I've celebrated at morning tea, lunch with a girlfriend and family dinner tonight and I've managed to stay under my 1200 calories. It was close but with wise decision and a bit of planning it is actually possible to do it.
I'm off to boxing tonight. I'm not even prepared to give that up just because it's my birthday. I love it too much anyway.
Off to Melbourne tomorrow and going on the Tramcar restaurant for dinner. This will blow the calories as it is a 5 course set menu with unlimited alcohol. I'm going to try and eat wisely and not panic about the calories. I can try and burn them off with thte rest of the weekend and my mini milestone of walking along our coast line for 15kms. Mainly on soft sand so that will be a killer

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Week 4 - Day 3 - Good results

Weigh in day and the results are good. I'm down another 1.4Kg bringing my 4 week total to 5.6Kg. My goal was 4Kg so I've smashed that.
The fitness test results are in and I imporved in areas except situps. I'm still at level 3 but I'm cool with that. I did 48 Push ups, 1min 19 for Wall Squat, I'm very flexible so my sit and reach was 20.5cm and my 1km run was 8:08. I'm really disappointed with the run results because I've been really trying to improve in this area. I did cut off 30 seconds but i was really trying for under 8 minutes this time. Oh well, I'll just have to keep practising and keep on with my running program and wait and see in the next 4 weeks. The only problem with the running is that my 1 month goal was to run 1/2 lap of the racecourse without stopping and I'm so scared I might not be able to do it. I'm going to try at the weekend and I'm really determined I can do it even if it kills me.
I'm doing all my body measurements on Friday at the gym as they have been tracking me and I get my PT to do them for consistency. Looking forward to it big time!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Week 4 - Day 2 - Down day

I am feeling completely flat and extremely tired today. I went to the gym this morning and ran on the tready but instead of just running I walked too as I was just not right. I then went to pump but only did lighter weights. It's not that I;m not motivated it is just that my body is telling me it's tired today.
I also just feel flat emotionally. I'm not my usual bubbly self but don't seem able to break out of this. I think an early night could be on the cards.
The other strange thing that is happening today is I keep wanting all the bad foods. This is really the first time I've wanted food other than what I've organised for the day. I walked past a take takeaway shop at lunch time and was practically drooling at the smells. I actually wasn't hungry as I'd not long eaten but i still really wanted to go in and eat. I kept walking so that was a good thing.
I hope this down mood passes really quickly. Maybe after weigh in tomorrow I'll feel differently.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Week 4 - Day 1 - Still running

I am so pleased with myself for sticking to my running program. It is the most running i have ever done in my life. My 1 month goal of running 1/2 lap of my local racecourse is looking good. I'm going to try it out this week. I've already passed my weight goal of 4Kg so all is good.
I had my first compliment today at work about how much weight I've lost. Boy that makes you feel good and makes the effort all the more rewarding.
I have a cross fit session tonight which is always a big calorie burner and then back to pump in the morning.
So looking forward to pizza tonight.

Week 3 - Day 7 - Body image

I think I have issues with body image. I went shopping yersterday for a dress for my wedding. I tried on about 6 and didn't like any due to my body. They were either too tight, made my bum look big, made my waist seem huge and on and on and on. My children liked a couple of them and said they looked great and I usually trust them but I just couldn't see it this time. I don't think my body is hideous but that is how I felt in these dresses. So the outcome.......... I didn't get a dress.
The good part was that I was well prepared with food and felt fantastic about this.
I didn't get to do Super Saturday yesterday so I sort of made up for it today. I ran on the tready for 16 1/2 minutes without stopping then did a pump class with much heavier weights than I usually do. The result was 660 calories gone. Not quite Super Saturday standard but I was happy with that.
I have spent the evening getting prepared for this week. I've made lunch for the next couple of days and got part of tomoorow evenings meal done.
Looking forward to Week 4

Friday, October 8, 2010

Week 3 - Day 6 - A day shopping

No Super Saturday for me today. I'm off to Melbourne to buy a dress for my wedding. It takes us 3 hours to get there, shop all day & 3 hours home. Absolutely no time for exercise today. I think it's a good excuse though. I'm going. To make up for it tomorrow so all is good. I was worried about food today so I've packed a salad fir lunch & a banana for a snack. Can't believe how much I can fit into my handbag. So hopefully in my next blog I'll have a new dress. So excited!

Week 3 - day 5 - just an ordinary day

At the gym by 5:30. 20 chinups on the assisted machine, 20 mins on the tready & a pump class. 550 calories gone. I have really found that by doing a little bit of cardio before pump makes me burn so many more calories. Worked all day then went straight to Relay for Life registration night. Got home about 8:30 ate tea and went to bed. Not quite sure when and where I'm supposed to fit my family in.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Week 3 - Day 4 - Running = Poo

WARNING WARNING WARNING - Read at your own peril............ Bodily functions discussed
I hate how when I'm running I feel like I need to go to the lou for No.2's. It is shitting me off.......literally.
I don't have the urge before I start running but once I get into it I feel like I have to go. What is that all about! It is not much fun trying to run when you feel like your going to lose control. It is stressing me because I don't know if it is normal or if it is just my body not coping with running. It is so not going to beat me........ I am going to conquer this running thing but it is bloody annoying and making it very hard.
I've just completed 2 weeks of my running program and had a sneak peek at next weeks and this scare the hell out of me. The negative talks starts in my head because the time to run has increased so much more than I expected. I have to stop this negative stuff but it is really hard when I've been scared of running most of my life. I am determined though and I will conquer this fear. Nothing like staring it straight in the face.
The other crap thing that is going on is that I'm just sooooooooo busy at the moment. Everything seems to be happening at once. My son is about to turn 18 and finish year 12, I'm about to get married, my parents are relying on me to help sell my Nan's house, I've got Relay for life stuff happening and full time work. I just feel like I can't stretch any further. I actually apologised to my partner last night for being so busy. I just feel a bit over whelmed at the moment. This is not like me so I don't know how to deal with it. I'm not budging on Michelle's program as this has my priority because I want this so badly.
I think I'm just having a bad day and tomorrow the sun will come up and I'll be okay again.
I did my running progam this morning beofre everyone got up and I have boxing tonight with my partner which always helps relieve the tensions. I punch them out. haha.
I booked my flights and motel for Sydney today. Look out I'm going to train with Mish. Woohoo

Week 3 - day 3 - Not afraid of the scales

Why am I so scared to weigh in each week??? I've done the hard work & eaten so well. The guilty side of me kicks in. I shouldn't have eaten that tiny bit of bbq chicken or I didn't do heavy weights at pump.
Anyway, I had another loss. 1.4kg to be exact & I'm so stoked. I had really done the hard work so that is reward.
I forgot my lunch today but I managed to improvise & won't go over my calories.
My youngest joined me this morning for a run and we play tennis tonight together. I love all this family togetherness.
My nearly 18 year old son bought a car last night so it is all happening in my house.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Week 3 - Day 2 - Loving the food

I have to say how impressed I am with the food and how easy the recipes are. I love cooking and trying out new recipes so I'm in my element. Even my family are impressed with most of the food I'm serving them. My daughters have loved taking the same lunches as me to school each day.
Another thing that is happening is that my family seem to be more active. Another plus from the program. My children want to come running with me in the morning. (they say that now, not sure what the response will be when I wake them at 5:30).
The other good news is.......... I survived the mad day yesterday and did an awesome workout at PT last night and didn't want to stop even when the session was over. I think I'm becoming addicted to exercise.... OMG

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Week 3 - Day 1 - A busy time ahead

I managed to do C25K this morning even though it was drizzling rain. I only just made it back to the garage when a rally heavy down pour happened. Someone was looking after me.
I've got the most ridiculous evening planned and thank god for my partner to help. I finish work at 5:00 and race home to collect the toungest for her tennis lesson at 5:30. Head home and prepare dinner for everyone beofre picking up the youngest at 6:30. I've got a PT at 7 till 8. The middle child has to be picked up from work at 7ish. The middle child then has basketball at 8:20 and the oldest child needs to be picked up from work at 8:30. Then it's back to basketball to collect the middle child around 9:15. Then I'm going home to bed to crash.
I'm not quite sure when I'm supposed to eat and get organised for tomorrows food but I'll see how I go.

Week 2 - Day 7 Relaxing

I have just spent the day with my partner and no kids. We have done odd jobs around the place and basically just chilled out and relaxed. Once again the sun has been shining so I did get some time to soak some up.
My right knee is sore but I'm not telling anyone because it will just give them an excuse to tell me I'm doind too much!
I cooked the Thai fish cakes tonight and they were a hit. I'm not big on fish myself and I don't think I've ever cooked using fish before so I was greatly suprised that they were easy and tasted goo too.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Week 2 - Day 6 - not quite Super Saturday

I nearly got there. I knew I was going to be pushed for time this morning to fully complete my Super Saturday. I did spin then did my 1/2 hour C25K and had intentions of running up and down the Whale stairs. These are about 100 stairs from a whale viewing platform down to the beach. When I got there I couldn't believe how many people were there. There aren't even any whales at this time of the year. I wasn't going up and down the stairs in front of everyone like a royal dick in front of them all so I walked back to the gym and practices chin ups on athe assisted chin up machine. I only burnt off 800 calories so I was a bit peeved. I've been aiming for at least 1000 cals on a Saturday morning.
The reason I was pushed for time is that I'm on the local Relay for Life committee and we were having a Blitz up the main street to encourage people to participate. So I had to forgo by full Super Saturday but it was for an extremely good cause and one I'm proud to be a part of.
I spent the rest of the day soaking up some sunshine. It has been a rare event lately to see sunshine.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Week 2 - Day 5 - Start & Finish

I started the day with 20 mins on the treadmill and then a pump class and finished off the day with a boxing session. Just over 1000 calories gone for the day. I'm happy with that.
I had a conversation with my step mum.
SM "You look tired"
ME " I am"
SM " What have you been doing"
ME "Working out 6 days a week and eating really well"
SM "That's too much. You must stop"
I look at hr in amazement as she is in her 70's, very obese and can hardly move. (well she chooses not to move)
I don't want to end up like that. My mum died just after my 14th birthday and now that I'm nealry 45, overweight with high blood pressure it's time to take control and live a long and healthy life. I want to be here to see my children grow into adults and start families of their own. I would give anything to have had my mother stay healthy and be here still now.
Thanks Mish for helping me to change my lifestyle, my eating, my exercise patterns

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Week 2 - Day 4 - I got flowers

I arrived at work today and got presented with flowers from a work colleague. It's not my birthday so I was intrigued as to why.......... seems I've inspired her to start her own healthy eating program and she has started exercising for the first time in her life and even attempted running this morning. It is so lovely to receive flowers but it is even more wonderful to think the Mish and her program has such reaching effects.
My nealry 14 year old daughter informed this morning that she wants to come running with me in the mornings. This is just so lovely. She is a pretty active kid but it is nice to think she wants to be such a part of all this.
My nealry 18 year old son passed his hazard identification test today so he is nealy ready for the P's. Not sure if I am though.
I got slack for the first time this morning because I had planned to do my running program after taking my 16 year old daughter to the train but instead I came home and went back to bed for another hour. It was 5:30am. I do have an hour boxing session tonight so i din't feel too bad because it's not like I've completely missed training today.
Tonight after boxing my work is having a "Girls Night In". All the girls pay to meet together to watch chick flicks, eat and drink. I'll take my natural sparkling mineral water and some carrot sticks. haha It's all to raise money for cancer research.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Week 2 - Day 3 Full of beans

I woke up at 4:30 this morning wanting to go running. I had my alarm set for 6:30 so I rolled over for a few more hours before getting up and doing my second day of running. I've never before in my life looked forward to running as I was this morning. The part of exercise I've always dreaded and now I can't wait to do it. What the hell has gotten into me!
Before I took off running I jumped on the dreaded scales. Why do I hate weighing in so much......................I'd done all the hard work........... I hadn't missed a training session and I hadn't stuffed up the nutrition at all so I should see results but there is always that little person inside my head saying "You've probably put on" Well I proved that little person wrong. I lost 1.8Kg and I'm ecstatic.
I also went out at lunch time today and purchased my wedding ring. OMG I'm really getting married. Not that I doubted it for a second but holy shit.........this is for real
I love this day, I love this program, I love my life and I love my husband to be............... Now I'm being sentimental.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Week 2 - Day 2 A new trick learned

I listened very carefully to Mish the othe night and she suggested that a warm up on the tready before a workout would help. Well it does. I got up earlier this morning and hit the tready at the gym for 20 minutes before doing pump. Usually I only burn off about 300-350 cals in pump but this morning I bunred off nearly 500. It was so worth getting up a fraction earlier.
I've got a few sore spots today in places I"m not used to. My hips for one. I think this may come from the running (or attempt at running).
Getting nervous about weigh in in the morning. I should be okay because I've put in the hard work and been especially good with my eating but still, that little bit of doubt is there. I'm hoping for 1kg.
Looking forward to trying lentils tonight. This is certainly not my usual type of food but who says it won't be in the future. It had better taste good because I'm starving at the moment.
Running again in the morning after I weigh in.

Week 2 - Day 1 - I start to run

I started off the week in awesome style. I started my running program using C25K. I'm so scared about running becuase I have it in my head that I can't run. I have memories of sports day in Primary school when we all had to run a lap of the oval and I was the last one across the line. I'm going to beat this though so at 6:30am I headed off and did really well. I've got a long way to go but I've started.
I haven't been able to do all my planned execrise today. I usually do  group cross fit session on Monday nights but I've had a visit to the chiropractor after work and that has put a stop to any further exercise for today.
I'm so impressed with the food that I'm eating. It is getting better with each meal. I look forward to trying everything. Tomorrow night could be interesting with lentils etc. Not my usual type of food.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day 7 - First week done

I can't believe the first week is over already. I have loved the whole week and just been buzzing. I've talked none stop about the program to anyone who will listen. I've also given everyone permission to just say "Obsessive" if that is what they think I've become. haha
I am so impressed with all the meals. I promised myself that I would try everything at least once even if it had something in it that I would normally turn my nose up at. The only thing I haven't really like was the pizza on Day 1. It was just bland and the spinach was just too soggy for me. Apart from that everything was delicious.
I'm really tired today but it has been a huge week and when I'm not exercising I've felt so energised that I've done crazy things like wash all my windows and clean out my Nan's garage. I did miss not having to exercise today which I must admit would have to be first for me.
Along with the tiredness has come some grumpiness too though. I'm not nice when I'm grumpy. It's mainly with my children but I think being school holidays probably doesn't help either.
Well I'm committed to starting c25k tomorrow morning. Running is the one thing that scares me. It is the one thing that I really suck at but it is also the one thing that I am determined to conquer. Lookout 6:00am

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Day 6 - Super Saturday

I'm so proud of my efforts today. I headed to the gym at 8:30 am and did a really hard spin class and then walked straight into pump after that. By the end of pump I had burned off 1048 calories. That is awesome if I do say so myself.
I was energised and buzzing when I got home so I helped the children wash the windows outside and then later helped my partner clean out my Nanny's garage. She is nearly 102 years old.
We had tipping competitions for the AFL grandfinal and when someone won, they were rewarded with a chocolate except me......... I rewarded myself with doing 10 push ups......... My children think I'm very strange.
I'm extremely tired and weary tonight but I know I've worked hard this week so all is good.
I'm loving this journey I'm on.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Day 5 - tired as

I seemed to have been awake most of the night. That's probably an exaggeration but that is how it feels. While I'm laying wide awake I'm planning in my head. I'm getting married in November and was trying to work out how I can still fit in my super Saturday on the I get married. How's that for being motivated!
Had boxing last night with my partner. I always leave the session satisfied that I've given it my all but still on such a high. Out of all the training sessions I do, boxing would have to be my favourite by a long shot. I also burned off 640 calories.
Had a PT session this morning with my girlfriend Shanon. Claire who takes us is just wonderful. She instills confidence into us whenever we doubt ourselves. I love training under her guidance.
I got invited out to lunch again today. With this friend we usually buy a salad roll and Pepsi Max but today I told him I was bringing my own. So along I trotted with my bottle of water and salad which I thought looked like weeds but ended up being absolutley delicious.
I'm so loving this journey

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Day 4 - all is good

I had my fisrt eating challenge today. I was invited out by a girlfriend for lunch. I did a bit of investigating and decided on quiche with salad. I think around the 400 cals. I have forgone my snacks for today just in case I've miscalculated the calories.
I had the most wonderful talk with my son last night. All is good with him. It is so lovely to have a really open and honest realtionship with my children. He is my biggest supporter during all this and constantly askes for updates on my eating adn exercise.
I've got boxing tonight. Yahoo. I love boxing. It energises me to the max. I walk out after an hour feeling completely wrecked but on the biggest high. It is so nice because it is a session  I do with my partner.
Really looking forward to the chicken meal tonight

Day 3 - Up and down

I've had a mixed bag of emotions today but have manged to stay on track. This is an accomplishment in its self.
I did the 1km time trial last night with my partner and was really brought back to earth. Most of the other fitness tests put me in the intermediate or even advanced group but then I did the dreaded run time trial. I managed a poor 8:38 which puts me in the beginner group. That's ok, I was only 38 seconds away from the intermediate group so it has given me a mini goal to reach.
The food over the last 2 days has been wonderful. I am a bit hungry but I can deal with that and I've not had any urge to run to the fridge or sneak a chocolate.
I'm playing tennis tonight so I had the morning off from the gym. I will have to find some time to do some core though.
I absolutley loved the live feed last night. I am so in awe of Mish that I sat there for the first few moments and had to fight back the tears. I'm not normally like this but she has touched me in a way that I never expected. I even announced to my partner that there is another woman in my life now. He thought that was hysterical.
My nealry 18 year old son got his UMAT results today. This is  an exam that is required if you have any intention of going into a medical/health related field at Uni. He didn't get the score he wanted which probably means he now can't do physio like he had his heart set on. He is devasted which makes me so sad. There are so many options out there for him but at the moment he can't see them. I've spent most of the afternoon on the internet researching different options for him. My nephew had his heart so set on being a pharmacist and didn't get into it and then within 12 months committed suicide. This really scares me and is always in the back of my mind. Like all mum's, I just want my kids to be happy and when they are hurting then I hurt too.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Day 2 - all is good

Well I finished off Day 1 with a group cross fit class and I worked out like a woman possessed. Even Scott our trainer asked what had got into me. It was as if I'd had 3 cans of Red Bull. (I actually hate the stuff)
I wasn't too fussed on the spinach and ricotta pizza. I think in future I will just chop up the spinach and put it on the pizza without blanching it first.
This morning I was up and at a pump class by 6:00am. We had a new Les Mill release so that was fun.
I've really enjoyed all the food today and looking forward to steak tonight. I've decided I'm going to stick to the nutrition plan as closely as I can and give everything a try even if it is something I've not particularly liked in the past.
My partner and I are going to the local oval after work so I can do my time trial. I was a bit scared when I first read that we had to run 1km. This is probably the one area that really frightens me....... Running........ but break 1km down into 2 1/2 laps of the oval and really doesn't seem to be that bad. I really surpised myself with all the other fitness tests. I had in my head that I would automatically be in the beginner group but all of my tests put me in either the Intermediate or Advanced group. The run time trial will decide for which group I should start off with.
I haven't felt this energised for a very long time

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Day 1 - Here I go

Spin class - tick
Breakfast eaten - tick
Snacks prepared - tick
Lunch prepared - Tick
I'm on my way. I met up with Sarah who is also doing 12wbt. So good to have someone close by who will be going through the same stuff. Just to share ideas, feelings, eating etc.
We went to spin class together which is a really good way to start the week.
I'm very excited about what lays ahead because I don't just see this as a 12 week thing but more like setting myself up for the rest of my life. It's about changing the bad bits, working on the good bits and introducing the fabulous bits.

The Journey begins

Wow the pre tasks have been a head spin. I feel like I've ridden the emotional roller coaster. Some days have been awesome and other days quite sad. I'm so glad that Mish has designed her program this way.
I've learned along the way that my repetitive behaviour with eating and binge eating stems from me trying to be like my older sister and always wanting her approval. I love my sister and when we were growing up she seemed to me to be perfect. Everything she ever did or attempted seemed to work. If she enetered a running race, she would win. If she auditioned for the school musical, she would be the lead. I just seemed to never be able to reach her perfect status so half the time I either gave up or simply didn't attempt it. Somehow I think I'm still trying to be her instead of being myself. This realisation has been quite painful and a few tears have been shed. I will share this insight with her one day. When I'm ready.