Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Journey begins

Wow the pre tasks have been a head spin. I feel like I've ridden the emotional roller coaster. Some days have been awesome and other days quite sad. I'm so glad that Mish has designed her program this way.
I've learned along the way that my repetitive behaviour with eating and binge eating stems from me trying to be like my older sister and always wanting her approval. I love my sister and when we were growing up she seemed to me to be perfect. Everything she ever did or attempted seemed to work. If she enetered a running race, she would win. If she auditioned for the school musical, she would be the lead. I just seemed to never be able to reach her perfect status so half the time I either gave up or simply didn't attempt it. Somehow I think I'm still trying to be her instead of being myself. This realisation has been quite painful and a few tears have been shed. I will share this insight with her one day. When I'm ready.

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